
Saturday, December 29, 2007
Next Step To Ruling The World

Wednesday, December 26, 2007
BIG NEWS!
Saturday, December 22, 2007
Thursday, December 20, 2007
Bonesaw Eats Rabbit Turds
look here, barfgurgler. i know that you're basking in the money you got from that lawsuit from drinking a Dr. Pepper full of lye, but the Stinkbait's gotta werk for a living. My boss is yelling at me, and I say "HEY, F U AND ALL THIS WORKING AT THE ARTIFICIAL PLANT PLANT!!!" I quit and got a job makin' pizza rolls, but it just aint the same sweet chemical high as making 500 fake hibiscus from a bucket of petroleum distillate. Lay off the StinkyB or I'll be forced to make the best guitar solo ever and take all the credit. You know it can happen!
Dimebag Darryl was my great-grandfather. Yeah, I said it. What? What you gonna do 'bout it? Nuthin, that's what.
Dimebag Darryl was my great-grandfather. Yeah, I said it. What? What you gonna do 'bout it? Nuthin, that's what.
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
Chasing Rabbits

Sunday, December 16, 2007
Heavy F'n Metal \m/
So we got busy this weekend. Working on two new offerings for your headbanging pleasure. One has a holiday theme to it the the other is the official "next song" from DethChatter. And just to update... The donkey isnt dead yet. It kicked the shit out of one of my wolves. In fact the i am not sure if the wolf is gonna make it. It has a broken leg, 4 broken ribs, and some kind of liquid substance coming from his ears. He's at the vet right now. Now that's metal!
Friday, December 14, 2007
New Melodies

Monday, December 10, 2007
My Mask Now - officially done

Sunday, December 9, 2007
Jesus Beards
As Bonesaw said, we conducted plenty of research this weekend. Probably the most important research ever in the history of Metal. What did we discover? You ain't metal unless you got a Jesus Beard.
Tattoos are old news, safety pins all up in your grill were so 2004, and black clothing is simply a uniform. If you want to show that you live and breathe drop C tuning and smashing your forehead into a Camero dashboard while giving the devil sign with both hands, you gotta do it right. Doing it right means growing a long, thick, blowing-in-the-wind beard.
You have to look like you are an absolute fanatic, and nothing says, "I've been hiding in the woods and practicing my power chords and pinch harmonics whilst shunning all of mankind for 10 years," like a rug growing off your face that looks like it's got more woodland creatures living in it than the Appalachian Exhibit at the Knoxville Zoo.
So, how do you pull off this look when you aren't at a concert or band rehearsal? When somebody smirks and asks why you have such a crazy beard, just look them dead in the eyes and coldly say "I was raised by serial killers." Then invite them home for dinner. They'll leave you alone after that.
Metal Up Your ASS!!
As you guys know you cant rush perfection. So that explains the delay of the final stamp of approval. We are tweaking here and there and finishing touches. From now on there will be no more predictions or promises. It'll be done when it's done. With that being said... there is something else that explains the delay of of completion of what will be known as the one that started it all. The beginning of our world dominance. Stinkbait and I grabbed some friends and decided to do some research. We needed to Rock and F'n Roll. So we did. We went to see some of our favorite bands over the weekend and the whole thing was epic, Lamb of God, Killswitch Engage, Devildriver, and Soilwork. It was amazing and and the whole thing served as a reminder of what we have to do. We were put here to rock your ass. And that's what we are gonna do... ROCK... YOUR... AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASS!
Thursday, December 6, 2007
Make Computers Your Slaves
We've added our first female vocalist to the band. She is made of bits and sometimes bytes, but we will keep her around. Her name is Hilda.
Wednesday, December 5, 2007
How to Succeed in Evil
How? Work hard! I ground my voice to dust and worked my fingers to the bone tonight. Computers and hardware are real sons of bitches, but I'm on the right track. I got a USB adapter to plug the guitar right into the computer. Skipping the Amp entirely.
Guitar -
American Fender Telecaster > Blues Driver BD-2 pedal > Lightsnake USB adapter > HP Pavillion > Audacity.exe.
Voice -
Foam mic head over an Olympus WS-300M > Line out cable > HP Pavillion > Audacity.exe > slight echo and bass boost effect.
Important note - NO PITCH CHANGING EFFECTS USED! That's pretty freakin' metal to get it that low.
Here's using the settings above -
Guitar -
American Fender Telecaster > Blues Driver BD-2 pedal > Lightsnake USB adapter > HP Pavillion > Audacity.exe.
Voice -
Foam mic head over an Olympus WS-300M > Line out cable > HP Pavillion > Audacity.exe > slight echo and bass boost effect.
Important note - NO PITCH CHANGING EFFECTS USED! That's pretty freakin' metal to get it that low.
Here's using the settings above -
@#$%ing CENSORED!
Well, the time has come. We have gotten too popular with the masses and now we are being faced with the enemy of all mankind - CENSORSHIP! The only thing more evil than bone-crushing death metal is Corporate Management. Believe me, they can make your life hell.
Those Bastards on Floor 95 have noticed our crushing chords and started pressing up in our business. If Deth Chatter is to live on, we have to tone it down just a bit. You can't make an omelet without crushing some skulls, so we said "@#$% OFF!" Then we thought better about it and said "fine." And "Sorry for bludgeoning a sturgeon on your conference table."
I (StinkBait) went back and edited out all the worst (best) parts of the blog and replaced them with either "@#$%" or "(BLEEP!)" I hope it makes you happy. Or dead.
Toodles!
Those Bastards on Floor 95 have noticed our crushing chords and started pressing up in our business. If Deth Chatter is to live on, we have to tone it down just a bit. You can't make an omelet without crushing some skulls, so we said "@#$% OFF!" Then we thought better about it and said "fine." And "Sorry for bludgeoning a sturgeon on your conference table."
I (StinkBait) went back and edited out all the worst (best) parts of the blog and replaced them with either "@#$%" or "(BLEEP!)" I hope it makes you happy. Or dead.
Toodles!
Almost Done

Monday, December 3, 2007
Lick My Chops
I can feel the whole city shaking, buildings collapsing, children running around in agony as Bonesaw is on the other side of town recording his mega-deep vocals for Raccoon Mask. Even though he is deep in his lair, his vocal chords are banging against each other like giant asteroids colliding with dark matter.
Sirens are blaring and chopper blades are wopping as emergency personnel search the rubble for the source of this destruction!
In the meantime, I recorded guitar for Deth Chatter's next huge hit. I tuned the bad bitch down to C, then drop tuned the top string down even further, like I'm smacking Lucifer's Vas Deferens, yos.
Check out the damage -
How Kids Toys Should Look
Inspiration

Sunday, December 2, 2007
StinkBait Vocals Added
I gargled Draino from a bowl made of a hyena's skull and recorded my part of the lyrics for "Raccoon Mask". After waking up from giving myself rabies shots in the neck, I think we should change the name to "It's My Mask Now". It sounds more evil and evil is good. There's a great effect on the refrain, so make sure you got your headphones on!
If Bonesaw would quit wasting his time (BLEEP!) with a Swingline, he will add his vocals to the mix. BEWARE! Bonesaw's voice sounds like a metal shed being shoved through a wood chipper powered by a top-fuel dragster. This should be good!
If Bonesaw would quit wasting his time (BLEEP!) with a Swingline, he will add his vocals to the mix. BEWARE! Bonesaw's voice sounds like a metal shed being shoved through a wood chipper powered by a top-fuel dragster. This should be good!
Thursday, November 29, 2007
This Weekend will be BRUTAL
Bonesaw and I have all weekend to begin the most important part of recording "Raccoon Mask": More guitars and vocals.
We're talking microphones, laptops, guitars, desktops, amps, guitars, growling, more microphones, growling, and did I mention guitars?
The time is upon us. IT SHALL BEGIN!
We're talking microphones, laptops, guitars, desktops, amps, guitars, growling, more microphones, growling, and did I mention guitars?
The time is upon us. IT SHALL BEGIN!
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
Guitars!!
The song is starting to sound more complete. The guitars have been recorded. There is still room for some tweaking here and there but this is mostly where the song is headed. Up next... vocals. Basically when it comes time to record it will go like this. We will eat about 10 pounds of bean burritos from Taco Bell. Then we will drink Vodka and Whiskey until we start to vomit. Then we will attempt to sing the words to Raccoon Mask as our innards flow forth. Should be entertaining if not brutally METAL!! Enjoy the song in it's current state...
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
New Drum and Bass Tracks
So i spent some time down in the dungeon and laid down some new tracks. What i have created is merely the foundation to our first masterpiece. Join us as we manipulate the strings on our guitars, our vocal chords in our thick yet mildly attractive throats, and the skins on the drums... the journey is just beginning. The storm is gaining strength as we speak. And you will be able to stake claim and shout from the highest peak "I WAS THERE FROM THE GENESIS!!" Yes... it is powerful... wait... that was just gas. Inhale the mighty Bonesaw's flatulance... smells good.
Monday, November 26, 2007
Black Friday
Sounds like the best name for a day - ever. Well, it's not. I was stuck at a relative's house without WiFi, surrounded by a bunch of mealy-mouth mutant munchkins, and then told I had to go shopping for xmas presents. What a load of she0t!
I put on my black shirt and pants, got in my black truck, and went looking for the blackest gift for kids I could think of - Punishment Ponies. I had heard of this toy, something crossed between My Little Ponies and a Marylin Manson punch in the face. Instead of pink, purple, red, yellow, and green little horsies that push sickly-sweet tidings of joy and kindness, every pony is black and actually kicks you in the crotch until you puke.
Long story short, I couldn't find them. I did find this entry about Punishment Ponies in Wikipedia, which reminded me of when my headmaster would whip me with a splintery dowsing rod for being two pence short of a farthing. Ah, memories.
The only joy I truly had on Black Friday was paying a lady to repeatedly bang her shopping cart into Bonesaw's legs. Ha!
I put on my black shirt and pants, got in my black truck, and went looking for the blackest gift for kids I could think of - Punishment Ponies. I had heard of this toy, something crossed between My Little Ponies and a Marylin Manson punch in the face. Instead of pink, purple, red, yellow, and green little horsies that push sickly-sweet tidings of joy and kindness, every pony is black and actually kicks you in the crotch until you puke.
Long story short, I couldn't find them. I did find this entry about Punishment Ponies in Wikipedia, which reminded me of when my headmaster would whip me with a splintery dowsing rod for being two pence short of a farthing. Ah, memories.
The only joy I truly had on Black Friday was paying a lady to repeatedly bang her shopping cart into Bonesaw's legs. Ha!
Sunday, November 25, 2007
@#$%BALLS!!
It's the first thing that popped into my mind when i thought about describing how i feel right now... @#$%BALLS! I should be getting my new guitar tomorrow. If it werent for the holiday weekend i would have had it already. Getting ready to shred for you @#$%. I am looking forward to making some music for you to get drunk and (BLEEP!) up to!! AHHH YER GONNA DIE!!
Saturday, November 24, 2007
Working on the tune
Been working on Raccoon Mask a little bit. The drum and bass tracks have been re-recorded and remixed. Sounds much better. Guitars should be coming soon as well as vocal tracks. Should be fun to hear how the sound progresses. Now go... and eat more food!! @#$%heads...
Friday, November 23, 2007
Biggest Shopping Day of the Year
So I got up this morning and went shopping with some of the women that let me eat their Turkeys yesterday. That's a whole different story. So we were at Target (I had to get Guitar Hero III to practice my rock star moves) and this (BLEEP!) kept bumping me with her cart. I mean people everywhere... i cant move and this (BLEEP!) was nudging me with her cart. I was like " WHERE (BLEEP!) DO YOU WANT ME TO GO!!!!" She will rot in hell.
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
Life is good

Tuesday, November 20, 2007
Important Decisions
I need to go shopping for my wolves. I just have one question... Turkey or Ham??
Monday, November 19, 2007
Garlic Pork
Ate too much Chinese food last night. Took a @#$% this morning that felt like ANGER.
After that, just listened to some Sabbath. Argued with Bonesaw about whether there has ever been harmonica in Death Metal. Has there?
After that, just listened to some Sabbath. Argued with Bonesaw about whether there has ever been harmonica in Death Metal. Has there?
Sunday, November 18, 2007
Ok Ok DAMN!!
(Picture changed to be more PC. You sissies!)
Before you (BLEEP!) me I will correct myself. Stinkbait was right. It is correctly spelled RACCOON. But Stinkbait is still a tool. While I am here I will go ahead and answer the first question that will being going through the minds of our fans around the world. "Why write a song about a raccoon?" My initial reply would be to mind your own @#$% business and go back to your pathetic life... but i decided that some of you may need a visual example as to why raccoons are inspirational. Now take this coon. He is determined, resourceful, intelligent, and will go to any means necessary to get what he wants. Those are good qualities to have and we can all learn something from this coon. Now if that isnt inspiring... please somebody post something that is. I look forward to your repsonses. Til next time pansies...
First of all...
Stinkbait is a @#$% tool. It's Racoon not RACCOON. And for those who have listened to the track as it is in it's current state... you may be confused. You might say to yourself "That's not death metal?!?!" Well I say go (BLEEP!)!!! We arent finished yet. We are in the middle of the creative process and we will not be pigeon holed!!! Just kick back, have some alcohol of your choice... it'll be metal enough when we are done. Til next time you pansies...
Raccoon Mask Guitar Riff
I was at Bonesaw's lair the other day, working with him on creating the guitars for Raccoon Mask - our soon to be killer death metal single. Went home, drank half a bottle of Jack, and whipped this bullshit up. It was 4/5ths easier than taking a dump.
Found out later that it is much slower than the base and drums Bonesaw put together on different tracks. WTF? You people are FREAKS!
Here's the bass and drum track -
Found out later that it is much slower than the base and drums Bonesaw put together on different tracks. WTF? You people are FREAKS!
Here's the bass and drum track -
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