Next Step To Ruling The World

The follow up to the critically acclaimed "My Mask Now" is HERE!!! It is merely the next step in our attempt to take over the world. No lyrics yet to this rocking tune but I am sure when Stinkbait and myself get together... it'll be brutal. So without any more delay please enjoy what the riffage of the world's next most brutal song.



So like I said no lyrics yet. If you crazy bastards have any ideas that you think would fit... offer them up. If we choose your lyrics... we might send you something like a pair if my underwear... unwashed... autographed with shit stains from my ass!!

BIG NEWS!

So we are making this thing into a podcast and we needed a picture. So I whipped one up real quick!! THIS IS METAL!!! This is just the next step towards world domination. All will bow to our metal prowess. We hate you all!!

Merry Dethmas!!!

I made this for you!! Here is the holiday song i promised. Merry Dethmas you crazy motherfu#%ers!!



We wish you a Metal Dethmas;
We wish you a Metal Dethmas;
We wish you a Metal Dethmas and a Crappy New Year.

DethChatter we bring to you and your kin;
DethChatter for Dethmas and a Crappy New Year.

Oh, bring us a figgy pudding;
Oh, bring us a figgy pudding;
Oh, bring us a figgy pudding and a pint of good beer

We won't go until we get some;
We won't go until we get some;
We won't go until we get some, so bring some out here

We wish you a Metal Dethmas;
We wish you a Metal Dethmas;
We wish you a Metal Dethmas and a Crappy New Year

Bonesaw Eats Rabbit Turds

look here, barfgurgler. i know that you're basking in the money you got from that lawsuit from drinking a Dr. Pepper full of lye, but the Stinkbait's gotta werk for a living. My boss is yelling at me, and I say "HEY, F U AND ALL THIS WORKING AT THE ARTIFICIAL PLANT PLANT!!!" I quit and got a job makin' pizza rolls, but it just aint the same sweet chemical high as making 500 fake hibiscus from a bucket of petroleum distillate. Lay off the StinkyB or I'll be forced to make the best guitar solo ever and take all the credit. You know it can happen!

Dimebag Darryl was my great-grandfather. Yeah, I said it. What? What you gonna do 'bout it? Nuthin, that's what.

Chasing Rabbits

Still working on some new stuff for ya'll. I've done 3 guitar solos but Stinkbait keeps rejecting them. I just cant please the man. But he's making me produce better guitar solos so it's all apart of the creative process. So keep the faith... new shit is coming. As for my wolf he is fine... but the donkey escaped. I saw the wolves chasing rabbits earlier so i am sure they got to eat.

Heavy F'n Metal \m/

So we got busy this weekend. Working on two new offerings for your headbanging pleasure. One has a holiday theme to it the the other is the official "next song" from DethChatter. And just to update... The donkey isnt dead yet. It kicked the shit out of one of my wolves. In fact the i am not sure if the wolf is gonna make it. It has a broken leg, 4 broken ribs, and some kind of liquid substance coming from his ears. He's at the vet right now. Now that's metal!

New Melodies

So ive got this melody in my head... it goes like this... Duh duh duh DUH!!! And the vocals kick in OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!! It'll sound cool... i guarantee that. I brought in this donkey for my wolves to tear up and eat. I am not sure the donkey knows it yet but his ass is grass. I am not feeding the wolves so eventually they'll get hungry enough and figure it out. Now that's METAL!! Dethmas is coming!!

My Mask Now - officially done

Well i'd like to take this opportunity to present to you "My Mask Now." It's the highly anticipated single from the one and only DethChatter. This completes the first step of world domination. You have seen this band start from the beginning. An idea, that couldve just been. But Stinkbat and myself... we have the guts, the testicular fortitude if you will, the drive, the passion, and the know how... to make it real. So i present to you this first song. Now being the masterpiece that it is... the idea has crossed my mind. I asked myself... why continue?? Why not go out on top?!?! Because that's the pansy way out! We WILL continue. We WILL dominate the world. We WILL be the biggest metal band to ever walk the Earth!! More badass tunes yet to come. For the idiots that cant understand the words as we regurgitate them, below are the lyrics to the song.



"My Mask Now"

I'm a little coon
With my little mask.
I wash my dinner in the stream
It's my little raccoon task.
It's a tasty piece of meat

My mask now its my mask now
My mask now its my mask now
My mask now its my mask now

Stole from campsite number three
While that man took a pee
Put it to my little raccoon teeth.
feel something is coming for me

My mask now its my mask now
My mask now its my mask now
My mask now its my mask now

I'M A GIANT GATOR
Raccoon hater
Your worst nightmare
All up in my shit
Gonna get bit
Waiting on some poon
Gonna eat that coon
My mask now

My mask now its my mask now
My mask now its my mask now
My mask now its my mask now
MY MASK NOW!!

Jesus Beards

As Bonesaw said, we conducted plenty of research this weekend. Probably the most important research ever in the history of Metal. What did we discover? You ain't metal unless you got a Jesus Beard.

Tattoos are old news, safety pins all up in your grill were so 2004, and black clothing is simply a uniform. If you want to show that you live and breathe drop C tuning and smashing your forehead into a Camero dashboard while giving the devil sign with both hands, you gotta do it right. Doing it right means growing a long, thick, blowing-in-the-wind beard.

You have to look like you are an absolute fanatic, and nothing says, "I've been hiding in the woods and practicing my power chords and pinch harmonics whilst shunning all of mankind for 10 years," like a rug growing off your face that looks like it's got more woodland creatures living in it than the Appalachian Exhibit at the Knoxville Zoo.

So, how do you pull off this look when you aren't at a concert or band rehearsal? When somebody smirks and asks why you have such a crazy beard, just look them dead in the eyes and coldly say "I was raised by serial killers." Then invite them home for dinner. They'll leave you alone after that.

Metal Up Your ASS!!

As you guys know you cant rush perfection. So that explains the delay of the final stamp of approval. We are tweaking here and there and finishing touches. From now on there will be no more predictions or promises. It'll be done when it's done. With that being said... there is something else that explains the delay of of completion of what will be known as the one that started it all. The beginning of our world dominance. Stinkbait and I grabbed some friends and decided to do some research. We needed to Rock and F'n Roll. So we did. We went to see some of our favorite bands over the weekend and the whole thing was epic, Lamb of God, Killswitch Engage, Devildriver, and Soilwork. It was amazing and and the whole thing served as a reminder of what we have to do. We were put here to rock your ass. And that's what we are gonna do... ROCK... YOUR... AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASS!

Make Computers Your Slaves

We've added our first female vocalist to the band. She is made of bits and sometimes bytes, but we will keep her around. Her name is Hilda.

How to Succeed in Evil

How? Work hard! I ground my voice to dust and worked my fingers to the bone tonight. Computers and hardware are real sons of bitches, but I'm on the right track. I got a USB adapter to plug the guitar right into the computer. Skipping the Amp entirely.

Guitar -
American Fender Telecaster > Blues Driver BD-2 pedal > Lightsnake USB adapter > HP Pavillion > Audacity.exe.

Voice -
Foam mic head over an Olympus WS-300M > Line out cable > HP Pavillion > Audacity.exe > slight echo and bass boost effect.

Important note - NO PITCH CHANGING EFFECTS USED! That's pretty freakin' metal to get it that low.

Here's using the settings above -

And here's using the guitar with the mic near an open air amp (Fender Frontman Reverb) -


Still lots of work to be done. Need a metal pedal instead of a Blues Driver, and just made up lyrics for testing.

(Special thanx to Arch Enemy for providing music while I beat the shee00t out of my PC when drivers kept failing.)

@#$%ing CENSORED!

Well, the time has come. We have gotten too popular with the masses and now we are being faced with the enemy of all mankind - CENSORSHIP! The only thing more evil than bone-crushing death metal is Corporate Management. Believe me, they can make your life hell.

Those Bastards on Floor 95 have noticed our crushing chords and started pressing up in our business. If Deth Chatter is to live on, we have to tone it down just a bit. You can't make an omelet without crushing some skulls, so we said "@#$% OFF!" Then we thought better about it and said "fine." And "Sorry for bludgeoning a sturgeon on your conference table."

I (StinkBait) went back and edited out all the worst (best) parts of the blog and replaced them with either "@#$%" or "(BLEEP!)" I hope it makes you happy. Or dead.

Toodles!

Almost Done

I am putting the final touches on what will soon be known to the masses as "My Mask Now." Stinkbat has already started to write song 2. It sounds cool so far. I gotta go... the wolves are chasing of one of my girlies. While it's comical she's pretty hot and i'd hate to see her get mauled. Scarred faces are not that attractive. But i could let this play out have get really good material for a song idea.

Lick My Chops

I can feel the whole city shaking, buildings collapsing, children running around in agony as Bonesaw is on the other side of town recording his mega-deep vocals for Raccoon Mask. Even though he is deep in his lair, his vocal chords are banging against each other like giant asteroids colliding with dark matter.

Sirens are blaring and chopper blades are wopping as emergency personnel search the rubble for the source of this destruction!

In the meantime, I recorded guitar for Deth Chatter's next huge hit. I tuned the bad bitch down to C, then drop tuned the top string down even further, like I'm smacking Lucifer's Vas Deferens, yos.

Check out the damage -

How Kids Toys Should Look

I saw this and thought "What maggot kid is playing with my old toys? And did that little shit actually clean all the blood off?"

Inspiration

As my time to cut my vocals for "Raccoon Mask" approaches, I look for inspiration. I look for something that will really get me going. While going through some things I ran across a picture of one of our biggest fans. It was then that i remembered the reason I do this... ME! But i am glad we have fans to listen. Without ya'll... we'd still be doing this.

StinkBait Vocals Added

I gargled Draino from a bowl made of a hyena's skull and recorded my part of the lyrics for "Raccoon Mask". After waking up from giving myself rabies shots in the neck, I think we should change the name to "It's My Mask Now". It sounds more evil and evil is good. There's a great effect on the refrain, so make sure you got your headphones on!



If Bonesaw would quit wasting his time (BLEEP!) with a Swingline, he will add his vocals to the mix. BEWARE! Bonesaw's voice sounds like a metal shed being shoved through a wood chipper powered by a top-fuel dragster. This should be good!

DethChatter ROCKS!!

I am drunk and you all can kiss my ASS!!